


Tansy Nightshades

by Aki-tan (akinikko)



Series: 3 Days of Heaven... Or Hell... Who knows? [2]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Character Death, Edgar and Tuyi are assisstants of Nea and Mana, Human Experimentation, Mentions of : Mana; Nea; Edgar; Tuyi ans Cross, Mid-Zombie Apocalypse, Minor : Lenalee; Lavi; Tyki and Komui, Pre-Zombie Apocalypse, Timcanpy is a human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-07 19:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14677686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akinikko/pseuds/Aki-tan
Summary: Allen remembers how this all happened, and how much he misses what they thought were family, and Kanda tries to convince his partner to talk.





	1. Hated Survival

**Author's Note:**

> Flower Language : 
> 
> Tansy - Neglected / Resistance  
> Nightshades - Dark Thoughts  
> ____
> 
> Allen - 18  
> Lenalee - 19  
> Lavi - 19  
> Kanda - 20  
> Tyki - 23

It was busy around the safe haven, if you could call it that, everyone either getting a check up from Lenalee or having lunch, helping with the food, checking supplies or reporting back to Komui about what they are low on, or if just returned from a supply run, what they had found and what had happen during the run. For others it was different. Not many of the people in the safe haven knew about the origins of the apocalypse, Komui only knew because he was told, Kanda and Allen knew because they were unwillingly apart of the creation and Lavi knew because, well he rooms with Allen and the Brit tends to remember a bit too much.

The pigtailed nurse scurried through the halls apologising to people she has accidentally bumped into, saying _hello_ back to ones rhat say _hi_ to her,  before finding the trio she was looking for in the mess hall, and having the three looked back at the her questionably, as she sighed.

"Has anyone seen Allen...?"

"Nope... He was gone before I woke up."

"I saw him earlier near the shower room when I was coming back from talking to your brother... that's about it."

They all looked at Kanda as the Asian looked up from his food, frowning at their expecting expressions. Why did everyone think he knew where the sprout was twenty-four seven? Honestly, just becasue they were partners, in most ways you could think off, didn't mean Kanda constantly knew where the teen was. They both needed their alone time from each other just as much as they needed it from everyone else, and their time spent together.

"What? I don't keep a leash or a tracker on him."

"Do you know? Komui needs him."

"I don't, but knowing the idiot he is, Allen is probably wherever his sniper would be."

"Thanks, Kanda."

"Wow. You called him by his actual name."

"Shut up Lavi. He does it more than you think."

"Really?!" 

"Shut up Rabbit." Kanda turned back towards Lenalee a little confused. "Why are you thankful? I didn't say definitely. I only said probably... Also I could be lying completely."

The second eldest picked up his dish and headed to the area for the dirty dishes, setting it down before heading back to the table. 

"Kanda?"

"I'll get him if it's important... Why do you need him anyway?"

"Oh... we got word back from Cross."

The hall fell silent as Kanda scowled at the name and everyone stared at Lenalee. It had been a couple of years since the duo had last heard from Cross before meeting Tyki and Lavi and being welcomed to this place.

"He won't go for that reason. He hates Cross."

"Plus... Didn't Cross die... like two years ago?"

"We didn't know for sure... He kinda just left us stranded in a building, with Maria and Mugen, and just ran..."

"Brother assumed him to be dead after Kanda and Allen told us that."

"I'll still get him anyway..." Kanda sighed, "Moyashi holds a grudge against Cross."

"Tell him to head to Komui... You as well Kanda!"

The three watched the elder walk out before Tyki yelled at the hall to go back to what they were doing and stop being nosey little bastards. 

 

* * *

 

 

Komui had made sure that the sniper range wasn't so close to the safe haven, but wasn't too far either, just in case the snipers were needed, and thats where Allen was, because the colbalt eyes could see the figure from the barbed fence surrounding the area.

The shots rang through the air as a quiet _bollocks_ was covered by the third shot, as the second one missed the target. A quiet sigh left the boy, as he rolled over and laid on his back, after shooting the last bullet in his ammo pack, his arms covering his eyes from the sun, before he raised himself a little with his elbows at the sound of dead grass and dirt being kicked away. Kanda stared at Allen, as the white haired teen, lifted himself into a seated position ruffling his hair to get the dirt dust out, before beginning to dust off the back of his shirt, and to turn towards his gaze towards his visitor, looking up at the blue haired man, whilst Kanda stared at the targets.

They would have to let Komui know the area would need cleaning and that the targets would definitely need replacing soon. 

"Can I help you?"

"Not yet... Later."

"What do you _need_ my help for later then?"

"Well. That comes later."

Kanda looked at his partner as Allen quietly hummed, just to stare at the Asian as he held out a hand to help him up. Sighing to himself as soon as he was pulled up with the help of his partner, Allen went to dusting the rest of his clothes off.

"Not me, Komui wants you."

"Oh? Pray tell to what I've done."

"This time... It's not because of you, Allen."

Allen paused his actions, and stared at Kanda, as the colbalt gaze turned towards the Brit, from the targets. A scowl laced cracked lips, when the sniper had refused instantly and picked up his gun. Kanda hadn't even said anything, and yet he just watched as the boy headed to the table where the ammo was, sighing to himself, before following the teen.

"Moyashi."

"No. Komui said himself, that bastard is dead. There is no way, he is alive."

"I'm not here just about that."

"Oh, so whatever else are you here for then, 'cause I am not really in a festive mood to be around people today, Yuu."

"Lavi said you were gone this morning." Kanda sighed as the younger froze, "Not that I didn't know already, since the only reason you were gone is because you were with me again."

"So?"

"You only do that when you remember Tim, Allen." Kanda looked at the targets, before turning towards the other again, the younger stood there messing with the cloth in his hand, nervously. "And you only come out here with Maria, if you've remembered something from before everything became the shitfest it now is."

"You... never showed it, but you really do... did... you really did pay attention to us."

"I always paid attention to everyone there Allen. Including Tim."

"I... I want it to stop." Allen turned to look at his partner over he shoulder then back to loading up the magazine for his sniper. "I don't know how much I want to stop, but... I at least want the flashbacks to stop."

"Then talk about them?"

Allen slammed the magazine on the table, the stray bullets knocking one another on the table, before he turned to Kanda and glared at his Japanese partner. Kanda stayed silent, letting the albino finished his rant, he knew that Allen had to let out the frustration the teen has caged up inside for years since their escape, and yes sometimes it meant arguing with him, but if that's what it took for the younger to release the building irritation and anger, Kanda was willingly to stand through the onslaught of insults it would bring.

In the previous years when they were younger, Kanda knew he wouldn't let this go, and more than likely kicked Allen's arse fifty times over for it, but now Kanda would, he would allow it now, because they only had each other now. They may have the people at the safe haven like; Lavi, Tyki, Lenalee And Komui, but they didn't know them like they knew each other. Lavi didn't know what to do when Allen had his relapsed memories, but Kanda did. Tyki didn't know how to handle Kanda if he didn't eat or if the elder wouldn't sleep, but Allen did. Lenalee didn't understand the scars or markings over the two, not like they did.

The group didn't know because the duo were afraid of being abandoned again.

"Oh and who to? Riley? Shantal? The guy that helps Jeryy?! Then what! Just expect them to not want to kill us? I mean after all this? Come on! You know as much as I do Kanda, we started this!"

"Moyashi!"

Allen felt his breath hitch, when the elder covered his mouth with his hand, grey eyes just glared and colbalt eyes glared back equally annoyed. Quietly the Brit sniper said something, though muffled, before the teen sighed and just removed Kanda's hand, stepping closer to the Asian, before dropping his head against the elder's chest gripping his hand tighter.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to shout."

"Just tell me."

"Kanda. You know I can't, last time I did, you left me alone for three days."

"I... Didn't mean to do it and you know that."

"I'm still not going to tell you."

"Allen."

"Yuu." The pale hand tugged at the buckle of the leather jacket that Kanda was wearing. "Just stop it, I'm not telling anyone. That's final, I can deal on my own."

"Alright." Honey skinned hands framed the younger's face. "Just don't run off."

"That's more you... Than me."

"Says the one who ran off this morning."

Kanda smirked a little and the small rosy flush that powdered itself against Allen's cheeks, before he leaned in and kissed the younger, the latter reciprocating the action, by pulling his partner closer by his jacket, and kissed back just as harder, as Kanda went to deepen the kiss. Though they were soon interrupted by their names being shouted from the gate.

"You took too long getting me."

"Seems so."

"Come on... Let's go see what the weirdo brother wants."

"I'll still need your help later though." 

"Hmm?"

"What?"

Allen slotted the magazine into his sniper, before locking the trigger, as Kanda cleaned up the loose bullets.

"I'll see if i can make time for you."

"Come on. You always have time."

Slipping the strap over his shoulder he turned towards the Japanese man as their names were called again.

"Is this a whining Kanda, I hear?" Allen blinked, black faced before a small sly grin began to make it's way onto the Scouser's lips. "Bloody hell... Miracles do come true."

"Fucking fight me, Moyashi!"

"Nah. I'll pass." Allen waved his hand and chuckled at the elder. "Plus, what with all these supply runs and trips Komui's office lately to be shouted at... I don't think I have, _babe_."

Kanda scowled and glared at their red haired friend at the gate, before turning that scowl towards the albino as he looked back at his partner.

"You know you have time, and please stop with the pet names, also..." Kanda leaned towards the younger again, as Allen smiled. "You're just being such a tease now, baka Moyashi."

"Mm... That is a possibility... But," Giving the elder a small peck on the cheek, Allen stepped around the man, and continued walking to the gate. "We really should go now, BaKanda."

"I'll kill you one day!"

"I'm counting on it!" Allen stared at the sky, sighing a little, just to lower his head. ' _I'll take you to hell with me_...'


	2. Cross' Message.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross' first message to Allen and Kanda after two years of his persumed death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross is confusing as ever and still an unreliable arsehole™

Making their way to the office, Kanda noticed the silence from his companion, side eyeing Allen, as the teen seemed to be in a daze of some sort, but it surprise him that Allen somehow could get to Komui's office without tripping or taking a wrong turn, since his partner had a knack for getting lost so easily. Even if he had been in the area for a long time. Stopping outside the office, he turned towards the other, sighing a little.

"Oi. Moyashi."

Nudging him, Allen soon snapped his head up and looked at the doors and the surrounding area where they stood in front off the doors to Komui's office, then the younger turned to Kanda, blinking a little. Sighing quietly, he began removing his sniper so he could set it on desk near the door, where Kanda had set the ammo boxes.

"Oh... did I... zone out... Again?"

"Only for a bit of the walk."

"Oh... uhm, sorry."

"Moyashi..."

"Yeah?" Grey eyes turned towards worried blue ones, just for Allen to frown. "What's wrong...?"

"After this, talk to me."

"Yuu.... babe please."

"I won't disappear again."

Allen sucked in a breath, staring at his Asian partner, before just nodding as an answer. The guy near the door nodded, letting them into the room, as Lenalee looked over hearing the footsteps. Komui soon started the message from the beginning again and paused it, as they both stood not far from the now closed door and stared towards the desk on the other side.

"Sorry to disrupt your little training session Allen, but this was something I thought you should hear as well."

"Cross... You, said it was from Cross?"

"Listen--"

"I don't believe it. That man died the day he left us alone." Kanda gripped the Brit's wrist, stopping him from leaving. "Kanda!"

"Give us a second."

Lenalee nodded, as Kanda turned his back to the two, and glared at the other. Allen pulled his wrist from the grasp, shoving his hands into the hoodie pockets, waiting for Kanda to begin his long speech of why he should stay and listen.

"Oi. Listen okay. You want to believe that he is dead? Fine, but what if he isn't?"

"Then let him die! I couldn't give a rats arse if that punter lives or not." Allen went to leave again, just to be stopped once more. "Yuu, in case you forgot, he left us. Yeah sure it was with weapons but that's not the point."

"I didn't forget. I haven't forgotten, and probably won't ever forget." Kanda growled, grip tightening around the younger's arm. "And here is a reason to why I can't forget. It's because I was left with a whiny idiot, who goes by the name of Allen."

"Shut up."

"A sixteen year old, who just lost his brother, and escaped a dead ridden laboratory and wouldn't stop fucking crying at the fact that a stranger who supposedy knew his uncle, who by the way was the reason he became a lab rat, had abandoned two kids after staying with them for only a month."

"I hate you. Leave me alone."

"No. Here is what will happen. You're going to sit your ass down, listen to this message and then you're going to tell me what the fuck was in the flashback."

"Shut the fuck up, Kanda."

Kanda fell silent as his grip began to loosen on the younger's arm, as the latter kissed him again, fingers wrapped tightly in the fabric off the elders shirt, holding him closer, before he pulled back and looked away slightly. The silence that fell over the room made the white haired teen nervous, before his gaze was turned back to his partner, a small blush across the pale cheeks.

"I hate you... Only sometimes though."

"Then it's mutual."

"Kanda... I'm sorry."

"Save it. We'll talk later."

Allen nodded before calming himself down, they both turned towards the desk at the other end of the room, as Komui looked over at them, Lenalee hid her face a little behind her clipboard, but the blush was still visible to everyone.

"Shall we continue?"

"I can't leave either way, so why the fuck not."

" _Moyashi_."

"Sorry... I think."

"Alright. Take a seat boys."

Once the two were seated, Komui pressed play, Allen was slouched in his chair as Kanda just sat there unconciously reaching over to the younger and played with a few of the white strands, as they waited for the message transmission to start.

《 Hey Kid-- it's been a go-- years-- if you ar-- this then you-- Tyki. That's go-- found you. 》

Allen stared at the machine, sitting up a little, as Kanda kept an eye on his partner, his finger looping the white strands around it. The crackling voice that skipped every now and again, was the only sound filling the room, except the breathing of the four occupants.

《 You prob-- both of yo-- prob-- hate me-- have every right too-- You made it there-- means you're alive-- Also means I ow-- a thanks. So thanks. 》

"Wait. Who? What the hell?!"

"Quiet. It's not finished."

《 If you did not-- Like Tim and Al-- I'm sorry. I tried to wa-- but they didnt list-- Shit. I got-- Kids. Stay sa-- Who knows may-- 》

The room fell silent, as Allen just sat there, Komui stopped the recording, and looked at the two boys. Kanda turned towards the teen, as Allen gulped.

"Kanda... Who... Who did he have to thank...?"

"Allen--"

"No!" Allen glared at Komui, "I need to know." Grey eyes turned back to Kanda again. "Who is it?"

"Moyashi. Listen, I didn't know."

"Yuu." Allen stared at the Japanese teen, gripping the chair tighter as he looked away biting his lip. "Why did you keep this from me?"

The sniper stood up before glaring at Kanda, as Komui was about to press the button for the men outside, just as Kanda shook his head at the chief of the haven. Lenalee gripped her clipboard tighter and closer to herself.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Allen sit back down"

"You knew he was alive?"

"No. I didn't know if he was alive!"

"Then why the fuck would he have to thank you!"

"For keeping you alive! I don't fucking know."

Kanda gripped the younger's wrist, as he noticed the younger started to tie the strings off the hoodie together in his small nervous fit, he sometimes did that when things did a one-eighty degrees on them.

"All I knew at the time is that he told me to keep an eye out for a person name Tyki..."

"Kanda. He abandoned us!"

"Allen. He also helped us. He got us out--"

"After we were forced to watch two people we loved die!"

"--and sent someone from here to find us!"

"He disappeared for two years."

"Allen... We both knew what was going to happen if he didn't show up."

"That's still three wrongs and only two right!" Allen shook his head. "In fact that is completely off topic! Arsehole, you kept it from me, for two bloody years!"

"Allen. We can talk about it later!"

The Brit flinched at the raised voice, taking a deep breath and nodded a little before sitting back down, his fingers gripped the sleeve of Kanda's jacket tightly. It was a bad place before the safe haven, even if Allen couldn't forgive Cross, Kanda could and somewhat had done, and Allen trust Kanda to the ends of the earth, with his life.

"A-Alright... later then... Sorry."

Kanda nodded and turned back to Komui as he sighed, both the boys still bristled and tense from their argument so Komui had to watch what he said next. Especially with Allen.

"Okay... so what's the plan, Komui?"

"Well... We're currently trying to trace the message from where it was last transmitted. Reaver is doing that."

"Okay."

"Then we were going to send some people to the area to take a quick sweep look." Kanda frowned at Komui's plan a little. "If he isn't there then we circle the area and check the areas around one at a time."

"That's a stupid plan... Honestly."

"But so far it's the only one we have for now..."

"It's going to take ages to find him..."

"It's all we can do Kanda."

Allen gripped the elders jacket tighter and gritted his teeth. As Kanda sighed and nodded to their chief, before looking at Allen, just to turn back to Komui. 

"How can we help?"

"I'm not doing shit for that bloody prick."

"Shut up Moyashi."

"Uh... Well we are going to let everyone know, once we'v tracked the location..." Komui sighed and looked at them both. "Once we do, you both will be the first to know."

"Alright. So... Is that everything?"

"Yes. You boys can leave now."

As soon as the words were said, Allen was on his feet and heading for the door, Kanda let out an irritated growl before turning back to Komui a little apologetically.

"Unless of course, there is something you need?"

"Not really, but the shooting range needs a clean and targets replacing."

"Alright. I'll see to that soon as I can."

Allen glared towards the doors, already outside and carrying his sniper and the ammo packs, and as per usual, the Asian took his sweet time to slowly make his way out of the office, probably just to piss Allen off more. When he did exit the office all Kanda got was a glare and three words of _I, Hate_ and _Yuu,_ from Allen.

"Why do you do that!?"

"Because I know it get you all pissy and it's fun when you're like that."

"I will kill you one day."

Allen just handed him the ammo boxes when he caught up, and smiled softly.

"Like I say. I'll drag you with me." Turning to the hall Allen began to walk. "Now weren't you going to basically interrogate me about things?"

"Allen. The weaponry is that way."

The albino paused and looked to where his partner was pointing. Grey eyes blinked before a rosy blush painted his cheeks and the teen coughed into his fist changing his route like nothing happened.

"I... totally knew that. Let's go."

"Sure you did."

"Fuck off."


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashbacks. Around two months after Allen's last ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It skips... the flashback jumps like a scratched dvd or broken VCR.

_"Tim! No, give him back! Tim!"_

_"Brother!"_

_"Let me go! Let us go, you evil pricks!"_

_The red haired boy reached for the golden hair child, golden eyes locked with grey tear filled ones, as he struggled in the arms of one of the doctors. The door closing as he was dragged back to the room, one that was furnished with just two beds. Being thrown into the room, the kid stumbled before staring at the taller teen in front of him, grey eyes staring into almond ones._

_"Hi. You must be a new one."_

_"U-uh... I... what is this place..."_

_"It suppose to be a hospital... but its not." Crouching in front of the kid, frowning a little. "I'm Alma. You?"_

_"A-Allen..." He moved to kneel in front of the elder. "D-Do you know where they took my brother?"_

_"If he went through the double grey doors... Then he is probably with Yuu."_

_"Yuu?"_

_"My friend, we ended up here together."_

_Allen nodded before lifting himself up, looking around nervously, just to turn to the other occupant._

_"Your... friend... what's he like?"_

_"Yuu? Ah. He can be difficult... why?"_

_"Because Tim... He uh can be annoying and expect attention but then a minute later he is know to want to hurt himself."_

_"Oh... Well, it's kinda like me... so he might be okay." The teen laughed, and ruffled the kids hair and the worried expression that laced the kids face. "Yuu has put up with me for years, I'm sure he is used to annoying kids."_

_"But..."_

_"He'll be fine, don't worry Allen."_

 

* * *

 

"Why am I remembering?"

The two sat in the elders room that he shared with Tyki, as Allen buried his head into his knees and curled in on himself, against the back wall alongside Kanda's bed, a single hand tangled in the white strands gripping tightly. Kanda also just sat on on his bed, holding two of the younger's fingers that are looped with a single finger of his own.

"Make it stop... Yuu."

 

* * *

 

_"Come on... If you don't do as they say, it ends bad for all of us."_

_"I don't want to fucking fight."_

_"Then I'll just kick your ass, Moyashi."_

_"I have a name! It's Allen!"_

_"Then fight me."_

_Grey eyes stared towards the blue eyes. Gulping quietly, before looking at the blackened out window, where those people were. He didn't want to fight. He doesn't like to fight. Turning back to the other, he frowned because he didn't know what kind of fighting this was going to be._

_"W-why is this happening?"_

_Allen gasped before he found himself pinned to the mats. The other patient above him frowning a little as the younger bit his lip._

_"No one knows why, not even I do. Alma and I have been here the longest."_

_"W-wait... You're, Yuu?"_

_"Kanda to you. Baka Moyashi."_

_"Its Allen!" He shoved the elder off him slightly and snarled at him. "And I a_ _m not a fucking sprout, you bloody prick!"_

 

* * *

 

"I don't know how to, Allen."

The jolt that travelled through Allen's body, instantly made something die inside of Kanda. The latter wanted to know what his partner had remembered, but then another part of him really didn't at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

 

* * *

 

_"That... Is that y-you... Allen...?"_

_The hurting voice reached Allen'_ _s ears, as the white haired kid held his bandaged arm, the small drops of blood hitting the marble flooring, as he closed their bedroom door. Lifting his gaze, the kid soon ran to the bedside and looked at his friend. Grey eyes scanned the teens appearance before he took in the boys expression. The cuts and bandages, entrance points of syringes and god knows what else. Things they haven't used on himself yet. Then, Allen felt his heart shatter at the large smile, that was accompanied with fading almond eyes that were slowly going that sickening milkey white._

_"Alma."_

_"A-ah it is you... Thank God."_

_"W-wait... I'll get Kanda."_

_"Mhm. Just tell me how he is doing?"_

_"You can here it yourself. I'll go get him. Just wait."_

_"Please... D-Don't get him..."_

_"B-but..." Allen bit his lip, gulping as he sat down next to the elders bed. "O-Okay... I'll tell you."_

_"Thank you... Allen."_

_Allen sat there with him, explaining how kamda was still kicking his was in their tests, but the other was looking more exhausted each week. He didn't mention the bruises that would already be on Kanda's body before the fight test, or the syringe points or the sections of matted blue strands that were only mattered because of dried blood, that Kanda had probably missed in the short showers they were allowed to have every three days. What made Allen stop though was the coughing fit that had started and Allen panicked, before he ran from the room opening the door again._

_"Mr Chang! Mrs Chang!"_

_Tugging the doors open in a rush with his already injured arm letting out a cry, before slipping over the blood trail he has left. A yelp left him as he hit the ground._

_"Mr Walker! Mr Campbell!"_

_Turning the corner, Allen panicked and feverihly looked around. He sobbed running another corner._

_"Anyone! Please, Alma needs help!"_

 

* * *

 

"Allen."

Kanda leaned over to his partner, before pulling the younger closer. The faint sob tearing from the teens throat, before the disfigured arm and pale arm wrapped around the Asia's neck, fingers gripping the fabric of the tank top the man was wearing, before legs soon wrapped around Kanda's waist.

"Make it go away."

"How?"

"Stay." Allen sniffled, burying his head in his arm and slightly into the crook of Kanda's neck. "Just like this." Another sob left Allen as, Kanda kissed the side of the teen's head. "Just for a little bit. _Please_."

"Okay. Just for a bit."

 

* * *

 

_"What the hell!"_

_"I-I..."_

_"You made a promise, Moyashi!"_

_"K-Kanda... w-wa--"_

_The younger ducked, dodging the punch, tripping a bit as he moved out of the way. The grey eyes filled with fear. He had no idea on what to do against a Kanda this enraged. Running, he would turn corners, just to look back seeing, Kanda chasing him, leaving Allen to turn another corner. The kid was trying to find an escape route from Kanda and from the outside area they had been placed in together. He didn't mean to keep it from the other, Allen really didn't mean to but, it wasn't his idea._

_"ALMA MADE ME PROMISE!"_

_He stopped and stared at the wall in front of him finally coming to a dead end, before turning to a frozen Kanda about a meter from him. Wide blue eyes stared at the cowering kid. Even after all the one on one battles they had been forced into by these people, Allen was still avoiding fights. It was what got them locked outside together in the first place._

_"What?"_

_"I wanted to. I really did, but he was practically begging me!"_

_"We don't beg!"_

_"I... I couldn't go against him, Kanda."_

_"I don't care. I'm still going to kick your arse."_

_Allen stared at the elder, before backing away into the wall sliding to the floor, shaking his head at the stronger teen, just to be dragged by his foot, then pinned to the ground. Kanda raised his fist, as Allen covered his face with his arms, the pale skin covered in bruises and toothpick holes, his whole left arm red and black. A cry left Allen when Kanda pinned one of his arms to the ground and slammed his fist against the kids cheek._

_"You went against our deal. I can't forgive that!"_

_The younger thrashed on the floor beneath the Japanese kid, as the elder constantly kept pinning the opposite arms and then cpntinued to attack the crying kid. The small sob left the British boy, as he gnawed on his lip, had Kanda halting his actions._

_Blue eyes stared at the bruised jaw and cheek, the swollen left eye, and split lip. The tears freely running down the albinos cheeks and making the kid whimper when it caught the small grazes from where his skin would rub against the gravel beneth him, with ever hit from Kanda._

_"Moyashi?"_

_"I'm sorry! I don't want anyone to be hurt anymore!" Grey eyes stared at the blue ones. "He was in pain, and he didn't want you to see it. I'm sorry Kanda!"_

_A small gasp left the albino, as he stared at Kanda. Wet drops landing on the pale cheek as he stared at the teen, before feeling the weight move itself. Allen laid there from a few seconds to get his bearings, before painfully and slowly lifting himself off the ground. As soon as he was sat up right and facing Kanda, he tried reaching out to the Asian teen, just to have the tanned hand slap his away, but to be slightly knocked back to the ground, by the hug he was attacked with._

_"Baka!" The sob tore from Kanda's throat. "I... I just want him to be safe! Next time, come and get me!_  N _o matter what that stupid Alma says."_

_Allen sniffled as he nodded, wrapping his arms around the other, both crying at the torture they're being put through._

 

* * *

 

"Yuu?"

"Hm?"

"I-It was when..." Allen gulped. "When I first arrived... with Tim..." A silent gulp forced the knot in Allen's throat as he continued, "a-and... our first test..." He gripped the tank top that was under his fingers more. "T-then when... A-Alma's after effects... b-began..."

The elder sucked in a breath, and gripped the teen tighter at the mention of his lost best friend, a quiet hitched whine left Allen at the strength of his partners grip.

"It's always the same... ones..." A shuddered intake of breath was heard, before Allen bit his lip, feeling the shoulder of his shirt slowly start to dampen. "Hey, love...?"

Kanda squeezed him again as his reply not trusting his voice. He would have growled at the teen, but he couldn't, not right now anyway.

"Is this why you ran off... When I first told you?"

"'tch"

"Kanda... This isn't the first time you've cried in front of me you know."

"Sh-shut up."

"You just turned seventeen... and I was still fourteen... we were locked outside for the night..."

"Because you wouldn't fight me."

"Yeah... but you only wanted to because I broke the deal..."

"I... I didn't mean for that to happen... to Tim."

"Hmm... I know. I forgave you a long time ago... You may think it's your fault, but I was his brother."

"Moya--"

"Hey... I mean it."

Lifiting his head, before lifting Kanda's from his shoulder, so he could look at him, the Brit soon wiped his partners cheeks, before kissing him, and then resting his forehead against Kanda's.

"You may hate me most of the time, and I may hate you sometimes, but I don't blame you."

 

* * *

 

_"Get away! I'm not crazy! Get away. Do-don't! Mr. Campbell! Why are you letting him do this to me! M-Mana! Stop it!"_

_The straps were placed over his body, as the man approached him with the syringe filled with a sickening brown-orange colour inside, causing grey eyes to widened as he struggled against his restrains more._

_"N-No! Stay back! Mrs. Chang! Mr. Chang!"_

_Tears poured from the kids eyes, as he cried when the syringe was inserted into his skin for the nth time since his arrival. His breathing began to speed up, as his eyes scanned the now darkened room fearfully. A whimper left the boy, as he sobbed, his head pounding and his vision fading, his skin burned, And he felt like he was on fire, but he wasn't, he knew that but it felt so real._

_Soon, the teen felt a freezing cold touch against his arm, instantly his head whipped to the side, as he stared into golden eye._

_'T-Timmo?'_

_"Hey... Bro... It's fine, just relax. Don't fight it."_

_'You... but y-you...'_

_"Allen. We never left."_

_'B-but...'_

_The grins widened, as Allen shook his head, thrashing in his restrains as much as he could, before a small noise was heard from another area. A muffled cry, one he recognised so well. Kanda. Allen cried out as he tried to free himself even if he knew it was pointless._

_"P-Please! Let me go!"_

 

* * *

 

"Hey. You okay, boy?"

Allen jolted awake, Tyki moving back just in time before he was headbutted, the albino looked around, as he gulped and then turned to Tyki.

"W-Where... is..."

"Kanda?" Allen nodded to the question. "He is with Lavi. They're replacing the targets."

"What... Time is it?"

"Around six at night... You sure you're okay, kiddo...?"

"Yeah... I... Yeah, I'm good, just..." He took a calming breath, and smiled a little. "Just a stupid dream... I'm good."

"Alright. I was just about to get Lavi for dinner... Want me to get Kanda for ya?"

"No.. I'm... I'm good... I'll talk to him later. Thanks though."

Tyki nodded at the kid, as Allen sat there, his grey eyes pinned to one spot on the quilt he was sitting on, as Tyki left the room. Instantly a shudder ran down the younger's spine, as he let out a fearful whimper.

"W-What... Was that... Memory..." Gloved hands were soon smushed against the pale cheeks as the teen wiped his eyes from tears. "W-was that even an actual memory?"

The kid flinched when the door was slammed and a slight dishaveled Kanda stood there, glossy grey eyes widened, before he looked away and silently but mentally cursed Tyki.

"What was it this time?"

"I'm fine. Honestly." 

"Tell me, because i don't believe you for a second, Moyashi."

"I... fine... it was an experiment again... but i don't know if it actually happened or if my stupid issues that are kicking in again."

"I'm going to listen. So take your time and tell me."

Allen looked up at Kanda, when the elder closed the door and sat down on the bed, before loweing his head again. He didn't want to describe It, seeing it once was painful enough but he knew Kanda would want to know all the details, so he just continued to describe it to the elder. Allen was just going to worry about the after thoughts later.


	4. Clear Your Head, Calm Your Heart and Trust Your Soul.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lenalee drags Allen to the makeshift hall where people train just with the statement of; "Let's try Tai Chi."

Someone had alerted Lenalee about the small disagreement that had come from Tyki and Kanda's shared room, before another confirmed it to be Allen and Kanda both disagreeing with each other again. Lenalee on the other hand, didn't actually believe the two were disagreeing, instead she thought it was something else. Quietly standing at the entrance of the mess hall, she caught a glimpse of Lavi's red hair followed by Tyki and then just the person she wanted. Allen.

"Hey! Allen. Come here!"

Grey eyes turned towards the women, before blinking, setting his tray down, the teen soon tilted his head at and looked towards Lavi. Lavi turned to Tyki, then back to the albino in confusion, as Allen shrugged at Lavi's silent question, just as confused as they were. Sighing he made his way over to Lenalee not wanting to keep her waiting any longer.

"Sup?"

"Have you ever tried Tai Chi, or meditation?"

"No... That's more Kanda... He tried to get me to do it once when we we're wandering around on our own."

"Oh? Why didn't you?"

"I... I have this thing where I can't sit still for too long, I get fidgety and it pissed Kanda off everytime I tried to meditate with him... Long story short, I almost died."

Allen let out a huff of a chuckle, as Lenalee just looked appalled at Kanda's actions, but over the past time they've been here, she wasn't honestly surprised at the outcome anyway. 

"Okay. Well, after you've eaten... Come to the hall. I'll meditate with you."

"Lena... I appreciate it, but I won't be able to sit still or concentrate."

"Then how about you do a bit of training first...? Did you ever learn how to use anything but Maria and the pistol?"

"Well no, we only had Maria and Mugen. Cross didn't have anything else. Though he let me use Judgement once, hence why I use guns over blades, and vice versa with Kanda."

"Okay. Well lucky you we have blades here, one of these families were sword collectors before everything happen."

"I-I... uhm..."

"I'll grab Kanda, since he is the best for this."

"N-No! Anyone will be fine... please..."

"Allen?"

"Just... I'll meet you in the hall... Just don't ask Kanda."

"Okay... I'll see you later. Make sure you wear comfy clothes."

Nodding the sniper soon went back to eating as Lenalee headed to the hall, although she wanted to know why Allen refused to train with Kanda, so a little detour couldn't hurt.

 

* * *

 

"Hey Kanda..."

"Hn?"

She looked at the Asian as he sat there cleaning his blade, a grimace expression whenever he found a speak of dried blood in the grove of the blade.

"Why does Allen refuse to train with you?"

She had a feeling it was about their past but she wanted to be at least ninety percent sure before assuming things and getting it wrong completely. Violet eyes watched the man's shoulders tense slightly, before he looked over his shoulder and stared at her a little. His dark blue eyes dulling abit at the reasoning before looking away.

"He just doesn't want to... Is that a problem?"

"Well... No not rea--"

"Then leave it be."

"But Kan--"

"Look, if Moyashi refuses to fight with me, then he has his reasons." Kanda soon sheathed the blade, setting it back onto the stand. "Don't force him into doing it though..." Turning to the nurse, with a small sigh, before nudging past her carefully. "It never ends well if you force him into things."

"Okay..."

 

* * *

 

Lenalee sat in the hall and let out a silent sigh, before hearing the footsteps and turning towards her friend. He stood there and blinked biting his lip a little, as she gave him a soft smiled. The few other people just stared at him cautiously.

"Ahh. Come in, it's fine these two are just a couple who sometimes join me as well."

"I'm Damien, and that's Shauna."

When the man held his hand out Allen bit his tongue before just bowing his head a little, something he picked up from a certain pair of best friends. Before turning to Lenalee and back to the couple again.

"Oh... A-Allen, I'm Allen..."

"Nice to meet ya."

"Are you both... by any chance...?"

"Ah, she's Newcastle and I'm from Leicester."

"Liverpool."

"Nice." The man nodded vefore the girl elbowed him a little seeing the downcast look spread over Allen's face. "I-I mean... Sorry, it uh.. must've been tough, I heard it was one of the first places to get attacked..."

"Uhm... Yeah... It was I guess. Though I dont remember much..."

Not a complet lie, but technically a lie. Allen did remember, but just in sections, like a cut up camera film. He gave a timid smile to the couple before Lenalee started to speak, the three listened as she explained the steps of the Tai Chi technique they were going to do for the next hour or so before moving on to meditation.

 

* * *

 

Lenalee blinked as she looked towards the archway of the hall, violet eyes widening in confusion at the man standing there, before Allen stopped and looked over his shoulder, catching the few blue strands of hair that slipped around the corner.

"Lena... I thought I told you not to."

"I didn't... though..."

Grey eyes turned and glared at her, as the other two stopped and looked them. Gloved hands twitched at Allen's sides as he gulped.

"Then... why?"

"I... Maybe he thought it would be empty by now...?"

"Lenalee."

"I'm sorry, I never asked him to come here I promise Allen."

It was going fine, so well, it was going so bloody well. He felt relaxed, he felt his nerves calming down, his head slowly clearing up, but now, now he was scared again. He was frightened that they were going to come back, that this safe haven was just a dream and actually Kanda and himself were still in that laboratory.

"Allen... Maybe, we should stop now... O-or..." Lenalee gulped. "Maybe uhm... You should... Go after him?"

"I..."

He rubbed his face, before taking a deep breath and sighing to calm down. Standing there for a few moments, as the three watched him, Allen bit his lip and let out an irritated growl, before quickly turning to leave, waving his hand.

"Sorry. Continue without me."

Lenalee smiled softly as he left the room, Damien and Shauna watching before turning to the nurse, violet eyes turned to them and raised an eyebrow at their worried expressions.

"Don't worry. He's calm... Even if he doesn't look it."

"But are you sure... It's going to be okay?"

"They'll be fine. They're always like this, and they'll always sort things out, no matter how long it takes."

**Author's Note:**

> Remember the parts of this series can be read randomly.


End file.
